In between words and intimacies

If these were the last words you say to me

would they be words

of endearment

of passion

of hatred

of anger

of betrayal

or

of disappointment

Would you spend hours thinking about our time together

days hours minutes seconds

of madness

of love

of partnership

of fights

or

of drug induced escapes

Would you phrase it with precision and craftswoman-ship

Or would you blurt out

the obvious redundancies

I am tired of listening to

I would spend hours thinking it through

place special importance on the way

your taste             your smell               your quick deep breaths

lingered in my memory.

What would you do?

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Some writers and some books are so comforting, so enriching that I have to devour the book instantly. The words leap off the book and become a part of me. I love intense books. Especially when I feel at a loss of words. I find that the intensity from the books then transfers into my body and I feel uplifted.

I didn’t know this about myself for a long time. I read books and devoured them without really identifying what I liked most or what kind of writers I enjoyed on a level deeper. Some made me feel better with more ease. But I couldn’t quite place a finger on it.

I still attempt to read books by various authors. But in my moments of weakness, darkness and confusion, my body advances towards certain kinds of books. I stay in this frame of mind till the book is done and I have enough fuel, ammunition to prod through life again.

My sister is not wrong when she says I dwell and live free in the magical lands of words. In the articulate words of another. In the never-lost-land of my own.

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Words are so important to how a sentence sounds. By using the correct word, one could sound superbly vague or right on target. Both of these can benefit the person framing the sentence. (In different circumstances, obviously.)

With all the media noise tonight, I have been thinking how loosely we often frame our sentences. Or I might be completely and totally off the mark here. And in fact, these sentences are of the former variety I previously mentioned. They are coined with such perfection that they divulge enough detail to give some news. But never fully enough. This is not just one incident, of course. It is so many incidents that I have officially lost count. Situations are many, where people who stand for rights and those who are supposed to be defenders, use empty words and phrases.

We cannot be enveloped in this diplomacy. We just can’t.

It cannot and must not become the norm. Let us not learn from mediocre people who are not willing to stand their ground.