It has been an odd six months. Six months of life without the love of mine.
She came into my life for reasons unknown, other than my sheer insistence for a dog. I had just been hurt by my first crush and I drowned myself in her shenanigans. In return, she taught me everything I now know about love.
Even in her loss, there has been great learning about love, holding on and letting go. Everyday I wake up in the morning with a thought of her. I don’t remember ever waking up to another thought. Boyfriends, girlfriends, lovers, friends have all come and gone. But Layla remains. In her infinite glory.
I joked a lot at home that she was the great love of my life; no human would ever come close. It is true because she taught me to not be insecure in love. To love her without expecting love in return (a love that she gave so generously). To share space with her, to allow her to make decisions, to care for her through her aging years, to be her companion.
I remember the kids at Haji Public School askimg me why I had to return just for a few hours to say goodbye. I said then I didn’t know why.
Maybe it was the right thing. Maybe I needed the closure of burying her. Maybe she needed me. I do not know.
I am sure she will be delighted to know that in my darkest, lowest, and happiest moments, she is my first thought. Her tail wagging. Her love filled eyes have carried me through and will continue to do so.
Happy Valentines Day, my love. Thank you for teaching me the magnitudes love holds. I will continue to try to be the person you thought I was.