331 of 365

There is always a reason, an excuse, for behaving as we do. I couldn’t find an excuse for my behaviour though. Something to justify it. Something to hide behind. Or should I say cower? I was shaking. Even she would agree. It wasn’t one bad, inappropriate joke. Or a ploy to get me out of there. It was a long winding series of reactions that pushed her further and further away. Only I didn’t notice I was pushing her away. Now, I wanted a reason or an excuse to hold her back. Only I didn’t have it. My action certainly didn’t warrant her reaction. But that was the reaction I received. She was by the door after I watched her pack our lives into boxes in a matter of hours. We never divided up our assests. She just took the stuff she wanted. She clean me out and I, in that moment, couldn’t even care. She had numbed me.