326 of 365

When I started this writing challenge, I didn’t think some things through.

I didn’t imagine that my heart would ache so much that I wouldn’t want to write about anything else. I didn’t think that I couldn’t mask my pain. It was a really stupid assumption. My writing, today and always, has been my constant outlet. Things I couldn’t whisper even came out effortlessly in words. To the paper, screen and keyboard, I made myself vulnerable. I didn’t ever make those words public before. They were private battles fought in closed rooms. Maybe I preferred it that way.

As signs of it emerge in my writing, I am uncomfortable. I find I am being sentimental. I am struggling to embrace that I cannot always be happy, cheerful or even wearing a perfect mask. I am learning to not be uncomfortable by others knowing of my sadness, even momentarily.Ā I am trying to stop pretending.

7 thoughts on “326 of 365

  1. I hope you know that even a mast cannot be perfect. Nothing is what it seems like. There always shall be hidden feelings or pain. Hidden discomfort or peace. That’s the way it shall always be. You just need to make peace with it. Write it here or any where, somehow you shall feel light after that.

    No need for you to pretend about anything. You got past 326 days, do you know how huge a feat you have accomplished?

    Don’t pretend. Embrace yourself. Faults and all šŸ™‚

  2. There is an advantage when the people who read you are not the ones who are around you. They judge differently, and they write in the same words. Perhaps, they too have a similar kind of life which establishes a sense of camaraderie when they read you. But then, don’t let them in so fast šŸ™‚

  3. All writing makes the writer vulnerable… but it also resonates with a reader somewhere, and makes them feel less alone.
    I think, though, life is a journey in vulnerability. And perhaps, the more we isolate ourselves, the easier it is to fall and shatter.

    All this is to say, I love reading your blog. Keep writing.

    1. Thank you. It is lovely to have someone who reads and enjoys. šŸ™‚

      I agree with you. Writing has always made me vulnerable. I never thought to see it that way. I will keep it in mind šŸ™‚

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