I couldn’t single out a thought process to focus on. Each thought was coarsely blending into the other; disjointed thoughts seemed to frame a larger thought. Coherence was lacking and in the incoherence, I lost my awareness. I faintly recalled feeling like this from time to time. Each time, I stared at the screen endlessly. The familiarity of the voices from the movies and shows made for a soothing background music to the erratic thoughts. They instilled a numbness that enabled deeper dwelling on the thoughts. Subconscious thoughts travelled to the fore; I allowed the unbearable noise in my head to take over. Without any correlation to reality or the current situation of my conscious mind, I let the chaos of my mind unfold into a theatrical mess. It was sensational to watch after some time. Sensational, self-destructive and delirious. But that was clear right from the start. At least for me.