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144 of 365

I couldn’t watch television with him. It angered me too much. He smiled when the same segment would turn me red with anger. When I smiled with relief at an alternate point of view, he changed the channel in frustration. I never held the remote for I would constantly feel the urge to change when I was annoyed. So I resorted to avoiding spending time with him while he watched television. Which meant no breakfasts, lunches and dinners. A large part of our conversations were restricted to travelling to and fro from work; he dropped me on his way to work each day. This cut short our time together extensively. But I couldn’t help it. I cared about him and the clash of our politics made living under the same roof very difficult. We had fought so many times about topics outside our lives that our relationship had frayed. Yes, I avoided conflict and confrontation. I am not proud of it. But I know it is for the best. There is no pleasure in uncomfortable situations. We needed to live together and not commit murder. Especially because we got along all the other time. Just a few hours a day, I avoided his company. Subconsciously, I think he understood. Without the television interfering in our relationship, we grew closer together. Some topics, some ideas and some notions remain hidden. But that is the risk we were ready to take to make the marriage work.

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