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122 of 365

I wanted to cry.
I felt it was alright to cry.
So, I cried.
I watched every eye focus on me.
I unconsciously swallowed my tears.
I taught myself how to laugh when I wished to weep.
I taught myself its better to smile than to shed a tear.
I taught myself to teach myself several other ways to hide my urge to bawl.
I hid behind these self-curated masks.
When a suitable occasion presented itself, I cried for all the times I couldn’t cry openly.
I cried to salvage my strength.
I cried because I was told I shouldn’t.
Then, I stopped and went back to pretending.
I don’t cry anymore.
Not for you.
Not for me.
Not for this world.


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