Often, she wished to escape the blinding lights and noisy aura of the city life. They were symbols of the demands of her. In the city, her connections with people seemed natural and tough to shrug off. She found herself constantly repeating similar thoughts and thus functioning in repetitive cycles. There was not a moment of unadulterated silence in her head. She went away to live in a remote village. The skies were starry. The people unknown and cordial. She found that physical distance from the life in the city changed little or nothing. Her thoughts persisted. Her secrets, thoughts, expectations were faithful to her.
As much as she pretended it was the compulsion of those around her, she had to accept it was in the end up to her. She couldn’t however detach the years of conditioning that led her to believe she had to consider their opinions.
Momentary silence led to another hapless thought. The grey areas in her life overpowered the concretes. But could she in actuality blame that? That and the lack of a definite source for this obsessive thinking.
Realistically, this observation she made reflects life at large and a human being’s wiring in particular. She probably needed to unlearn her conditioning and rewire her brain’s thinking.