Good moods, bad moods and the passage between these two was where I spent all my time. Unlike the others, she never begged me to be ‘normal’, even occasionally. She knew my personality couldn’t accept such demands.
One day, we took a drive to relax. She asked me about my plans for the long weekend. I snapped. There was no provocation but I did. Knowing my habits fully well, her reaction was composed. The lack of a reaction made me angrier. At that moment, I wanted her to be angry and fed up of my irrational ways. But she wasn’t. On the contrary, her face looked serene. I fell silent and so did she. The drive continued without a syllable being exchanged. Her silence, though, was one of understanding; mine was erratic and adamant. I had no reason to be angry. I should be grateful someone understood without trouble. Even on her bad days, she was curt but never did she break. How did she manage it? I have always wanted to ask her but my giant ego got in the way. Despite a friendship of many years, I couldn’t dare admit she knew me better than I knew her. She had the ability to brush such notions off without a second thought. I held onto them and wondered, why don’t I react that well?
The fact of the matter is simply that some people are better attuned to others. That’s all there is to it. The compulsion I felt to measure everyone the same way, expecting all reactions to be similar was foolish. As I thought of her, I remembered that smile. It wasn’t all knowing or arrogant. It was merely welcoming of my mood, exactly as it was. She felt unreal at times like those. I refused to believe someone could be that accommodating of human flaws. Cynical me.