Saying goodbye is not easy. The uncertainty of when you will meet next makes it tougher.
Occasionally, we encounter people who we can share our deepest thoughts with. Saying goodbye then, at any moment, is tough. And mostly results in a few tears. It isn’t just about the love we share or our lucid connection. It is the want to spend more time in the others’ company. It is the basic wish of wanting to share each others stories and being around the other, a little while longer. It is a different sort of feeling this and I am torn to express it accurately.
I met a few friends for a couple of days and our conversations were as always interesting. I leave feeling a little closer to them, yet, I feel a part of me is very unhappy. Time, space, friends, love are not things I take for granted. (I try not to!) But the ability to set things free and live happily in these shared hours is one I find difficult. At the end of the meeting, I am delighted our lives crossed paths and I will forever have that space to return to. We will continue to create such new spaces wherever we travel to, taking our relationship along.
I feel unsatisfied with this arrangement. I want more. It isn’t a lot to ask is it? Just more time and space together. The rest would come naturally. But our lives, our careers, our ambitions, our dreams, take us far away from each other. Ironically, only in time and space. Our hearts, souls and thoughts stay intimate and close. So what am I complaining about? My words can’t explain it. But the confusion I feel is real. Very real.