She was at a crossroads, a very noisy and confusing one. She knew what to do yet she sat down at the corner of lost. Her mind couldn’t process the information she had just received. Sometimes making a decision, any decision is tough. Knowledge of the decision being irreversible made it worse. But she couldn’t avoid it much longer. She had to respond.
She couldn’t decide how to phrase it though. She headed over to her friend’s house and knocked on her door. “He asked,” she said instead of hello. Her friend put on her coat and they went out for drinks. This discussion needed too many cocktails in the mix. Through the first three cocktails, she didn’t say a word.
Finally Tee broke the silence, “You won’t even think of saying yes?” “I just can’t Tee. I know how it will turn out. I am not meant to be in a marriage. There has already been one sour experience. One more?” Jay replied.
It is like he doesn’t even know me, she thought. “I know what you are thinking. I give him credit for trying. He wants to spend his life with you,” Tee said. “Oh shh! This is a logical decision we made years ago. He has melted into sentiment and I need to leave,” Jay muttered.
She had reasoned it out in her life. 40 was too old to be married. She liked her life the way it was. She didn’t need it to conform to society’s approval. But he was exhausted of staying outside the realm of normalcy. He had made this very point a number of times in the past 6 years. She wasn’t willing to give up her freedom. He wasn’t ready to choose this life forever. They had fought it out many times before but their love had kept them intact. Perhaps time had come to take a decision straight from the mind. Her heart was bound to mess it up. If he had made his choice, it was time to vocalise and stick to hers.
She felt weak just imagining the conversation. She will have to pretend and pretend well. There was no need to shed any tears.